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[12 Dec 2007|04:22pm]
for those still in the know its my birthday! woot. 23.... i'm getting on in years, makes a man look back at his life... lol
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no job [10 Oct 2007|06:36pm]
thats right, didn't get the job at thrive, anyone got any ideas?
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anyone still reading this? [10 Oct 2007|12:10am]
i did this a while ago and didn't realize i hadn't posted it up here yet

Pirate's Funhouse

Where did the charts go
when the storm came down upon us
did we lose our bearings
dangling from the halyard
no hands left above board
to reclaim the course
from the inauspicious winds

thank the Nereids
I've already buried all my treasures
beneath the rubble
of a hundred thousand
broken promises

the tumult of these seas
strikes my nerves to the core
shaking my very hull
from stem to stern
setting the deck asunder
under the weight of the burden of me
covered and consumed
by seaborne tears
i can feel the kiss of the sun
being torn from my skin
and the reverie that i awaited
just barely a hair from my fingertips

thank the Nereids
I've already buried all my treasures
beneath the rubble
of a hundred thousand
broken promises

Let that Black Freighter come
and let it take me away
no man can ever lay claim
to the bounty I've hidden
and no hand will ever grace
those things i took away
we'll sail a thousand miles in a thousand aims
and never come across my eden again
If only you could have seen the charts
I'd laid out before setting sail
you'd know that sometimes fate
will get you by the tail

so there you go, let me know what you think
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[26 Sep 2007|12:10pm]
going for my interview at thrive today, wish me luck
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Must find one [25 Sep 2007|03:33am]
The Suzuki G-Strider
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
I want one

who wants to help me raid the warehouse in Japan that this must be hiding in?
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The more things change [21 Sep 2007|12:55am]
Its amazing how so many things can change all at once, amazing how it gives you new perspective, new insight.

I may be getting a new job within the week. I'm pooling everything I can together to get it. This job will mean a lot for me, more money for things I need/want, going back to school (crossing my fingers on that one), maybe a new car, and hopefully saying goodbye to walmart for good (not that there haven't been positives out of it). I'm also hoping it'll get me out of my creativity rut, or at least give it a much needed jump start.

I've also realized that I can't just sit around and hope everything I need taken care of will magically fix itself. I made a lot of calls today and some major headway in getting myself into independence when it comes to stuff I used to let other people take care of for me. I realize I can do so much more for myself, and I want to do it for myself. Thanks to those who have helped me along the way though, its more than appreciated.

p.s. I may be in need of a car so if anyone who still reads this has one I could borrow for a little while that would be appreciated too. lol

p.s.s. Everyone and their mom should buy the new Every Time I Die cd cause well it rocks
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[15 Apr 2007|09:29pm]
i don't feel at home here, it sucks.
gizmo is being really affectionate but it doesn't seem to help.
even billy and mandy isn't getting me excited to watch it.

still haven't heard about my new job, they've got 1 more day before i start emailing like crazy to get some info at least. i definitely need to get out of walmart.
if not there maybe comcast, unless anyone out there has an even better idea.

maybe fred fredburger will help, and food maybe. not that theres anything here lol.
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so late i should be sleeping [06 Apr 2007|02:38am]
i can't sleep
i'm tired, but i can't sleep
its not entirely a bad not sleep
but i still need it
maybe the tv will help

i've started reading house of leaves now too
i've moved quite quickly through it though i think i'm gonna need to reread it
my focus isn't exactly on the book, but its interesting to say the least.

i've been doing a lot of thinking
making a lot of realizations
making a lot more sense then before
thinking about my screw ups my mistakes, but also my desire to be different
things are changing, working towards something better
one of these days i'm gonna be proud of myself
till then i'm gonna try to keep getting better
keep moving away from the things i don't like about myself.

i dunno who reads this, its ok though this is for myself
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Solitaire [04 Apr 2007|03:52pm]
I've destroyed my life
one card at a time
thinking no one will
ever mind
but every final hand
I ever played
cut another notch
in my name
till all it read was
I have failed

and there isn't enough left of the deck
to live through
but theres plenty left to bury me

please start with my eyes
so I don't have to look
at these hands
with the hearts and diamonds
they've destroyed
because I can't bear
the burdens I've become
and the beauty I have defaced

there isn't enough left of this deck
to start again
this game has had its last chance at me

This day I strike against it
even if no eyes look my way
I will defeat this beast
I won't be the same
For everything I love
though it once spelled failure
one day my name will be complete
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I've Been Gone A Long Time [25 Mar 2007|10:38pm]
[ mood | done ]

so fancy that I actually wrote something that i don't hate absolutely
its kinda funny

heres all i've got so far, comment if you'd like

Eyes glazed staring towards the sun
in hope that memory can forge something new
in the hands of inexperience
This breath caked with the taste of regret
and impotence
Words we heard a thousand times
without definition trying to chip away
the cages welcoming us home

The dead and dying
practicing at life
standing for nothing
but the command

yeah typed up its not much, but hey on the envelope its scrawled it looks might impressive

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to the kids who were always there [22 Jul 2006|06:41pm]
sorry for not being around lately
no internet for the past week
if i missed anything important let me know

in other news, its been 6 months now, yay (inside thing don't worry if you don't get it)
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New things [17 May 2006|12:00am]
I know I haven't got things too bad,
Today was a day I really didn't care for
This Is Hell's new cd is out
and they're pretty amazing
and this cd is pretty amazing
I haven't been this excited for a cd in a while
its good to be back into it as much as I used to be
its funny how new things can remind you of old things
converge played on my way to work today too which has been way too long since I've heard
well thats all for my rambling
pick up This Is Hell's new cd Sundowning, or their old one, or both
or go see them on sunday in worcester, or on the 9th in worcester again i think
I dunno
I'm done
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To Reign in Hell [15 Mar 2006|09:52pm]
So yeah, yesterday I started reading a new book
today, I finished it
thats the fastest I've read a book since Fight Club
that should be a start to telling you just how amazing it was.

the book was To Reign in Hell by Steven Brust

too many things to say about the book, so many great and deep characters
watching the struggle was intense, and the connections i built while reading were pretty amazing.

it is very much in line with a classic tragedy
the language varies from character to character
beelzebub speaks very much in old english, ariel only in poem, mephistopheles in snide and biting sarcasm, satan in straight prose, and so on.
its interesting to see how deep each character is, how strong their personalities are and the conflicts that arise as a result.
I haven't felt this close to a book in a long time and I'm glad I picked it up practically on a whim.
Its pacing is solid, and the writing is magnificent. some have said its a hard book to read, I wouldn't say hard so much as painful, if you ever read it I think you'll understand. About four fifths of the way in you start dreading the end, even as you know the result.
it hurts and its fanciful but you know in your gut the truth the end bears, and the importance of those facts.

Whats also funny and entirely coincidental is that it was written in 1984 and shares some sentiments with that book here and there.

sorry for the rambling review with poor grammar, but thats what you get after I'm done reading something that great.
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Punky Chips Ahoy! [23 Feb 2006|01:13am]
So I just saw the greatest commercial for a cookie ever.

there were 4 oldschool london punks marching around with a chunky chips a hoy cookie
they were singing 'punky chips ahoy oi!oi!oi!' over and over again
at one point they stop and do the can-can
then a monkey dressed as a london cop says "not punky chips ahoy, chunky" and walks off with the punks and the cookie in a human/cookie pyramid

thats all i really have to say, just wanted to share it with the world.
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things change [30 Jan 2006|12:41pm]
so yeah as of last weekend, jan 22nd to be exact, i am no longer single hehe.
i've got a pretty great girlfriend i gotta say. holding out works lol
shes pretty amazing, her name is desirae, she rocks, nuff said

i've also been getting stuff done for my desk and my computers
been spending way too much money on computer stuff actually lol
buying 2 keyboards cause i'm sweet

i've also been in a retro gaming mood lately too
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[19 Jan 2006|03:15pm]

What Video Game Character Are You? I am a Scorched Earth Tank.I am a Scorched Earth Tank.

When I have a mission, it consumes me; I will not be satisfied until the job is done. I have a strong sense of duty, and a strong sense of direction. Changes in the tide don't phase me - I always know which way the wind blows, and I know how to compensate for it. I get on poorly with people like myself. What Video Game Character Are You?

(If you were not a Scorched Earth Tank you would be a Defender-ship
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the people in the tv command me to...........................ROCK! [19 Jan 2006|02:49am]
guitar hero plays in my head all the time now
my fingers are cramped and my wrist is jumping back and forth from being cramped
i haven't had this much fun with a video game in a long time
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[14 Dec 2005|11:46pm]
so yeah, today was a great day lol
was gonna play some soul calibur with ashley
instead my car was broken into
that was fun

talking to insurance and all that to get things fixed up so hopefully it won't be missing a window for too long

someone came by interested in the celica and the impreza so maybe i'll get rid of one or both at once which means i'll need to find a new car which is what my mom suggested
i was gonna take pics but i'm lazy today

and as i type this gizmo is watching the letters appear on the screen, its funny watching her head move with the words
oh and if you were interested, lily and gizmo are getting along great now which is nice.
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[12 Dec 2005|02:10pm]
in case you didn't know
today is my birthday
i'm 21

i haven't really got any plans so give me a call or something
978 430 3143 (if you don't know it by now lol)
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[28 Nov 2005|12:17pm]
Ok so been working like crazy
I feel absolutely sick and miserable today
I've been missing a lot of mondays at school lately lol
that can't be too good
but i found a power supply for my new computer for cheap thanks to ebay
and i'm gonna send off my motherboard one of these days too haha.
other than that no real news

if you care about me even a little you'll read thisCollapse )
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